Because narcissist’s have an inability to self-reflect, they use over-compensatory coping strategies in order to feel okay about themselves. What role does envy play in the lives of narcissists? It serves as a constant symbolic scapegoat of why narcissists feel so empty. Targets, not realizing what is happening, serve in the capacity of garbage dumps for their loved ones projected toxicity. This projection sometimes takes on the form of disdain, disgust, and contempt. The narcissist, incapable of experiencing any depth of vulnerability, projects his/her shame and rage outwards onto certain targets in order to not have to “carry’ his/her shame and rage within him/herself. The second explanation for this type of emotional display is due to projected shame and rage. Don’t you feel that you are in the non-disgusting position, capable of welding the “disgust” label outside of yourself? Don’t you feel in some ways above whatever it is you don’t like? Think about when you feel disgusted toward something or someone. Why do narcissists particularly enjoy the emotions of disgust, contempt, disdain, and envy? Let’s dissect the formerthree emotions first, because they are all quite similar and projected outward in a judgmental way towards other people. As you observe and experience your narcissistic loved one comparing you to others and feeling wanting, you, by implication, take on the obvious understanding that you are an inadequate failure. Your narcissistwill feel very sorry for him or herself for havingto deal with his or her disappointing andlousy family, believing that if only s/he had a better spouse or different children, ones that could deliver, then s/he would be happy. The narcissistis usually very envious of other people – the ones who have “good” children and spouses. The envy isn’t usually directed atyou, it is usually felt toward others, those not in your narcissist’s family. ”How could you be so stupid?” ”What were you thinking?” ”What idiot left the towel on the counter?”Īnd when you aren’t experiencing all of their projected disdain, contempt, and disgust, there’s always the envy to contend with. How, exactly, did this occur? It was mainlydone covertly and through a recurringposture of superiority and matter-of-factness presented by your parent that you, obviously, are a screw-up. If you grew up with at least one narcissistic parent you have experienced a consistent flow of emotional projection and implication that you are disgusting, disdainful, and contemptuous.
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